Hello my friend,
Yes, I’m calling you my friend because that’s all that is left of us now. It took me too long to realize, i know, but better later than never. I told you some time ago that you’ve changed me and you said “Great, now you are blaming me for the way you are.” No, hon, i was not blaming you, i was thanking you! See, how little you know me now?
I’m not anymore the silly girl who used to tell you “I love you” hoping that maybe, maybe this time you will have mercy on her and say “I love you” back, but all she ever got was a *facepalm* and a laughter. I kept telling you “I love you”s until my heart was too dry to feel and i had mercy on your sore forehead after so many face palms. Yes, that’s when i stopped and you said i was getting colder and grew distance. It was not the distance, i was just too tired.
I’m not anymore the silly girl who couldn’t understand why you yelled at her out of nothing, just because you were frustrated with other things, who couldn’t understand why you asked her to never bother you in your afternoons that you enjoyed by yourself playing video games, who couldn’t understand how you could tell her words you knew would hurt her and let her cry herself to sleep the nights when conversation was not going your way. You’ve changed me into you and now i can understand clearly everything. You never cared. But that silly girl loved you enough for both to never let you go. I’m not that silly girl anymore, and i will let you go.
I’m sorry i lied to you to bring you comfort when i knew the truth would only make you sad, but you anyways ended up yelling and getting mad because i wasn’t honest with you. I’m sorry i cared too much for you and sometimes it made you feel i was treating you like a child, I’m sorry i loved you too much to give up my own time every-time you asked me to. And I’m sorry I’m bringing up all this to you now, i have no intentions to throw them into your face, i just remind myself who i never want to be again.
Nevertheless, thank you! Thank you for not caring enough for me thus teaching me to care about myself, thank you for not giving a damn about the little things that made me happy and making me love them even more and thank you for ignoring my feelings because this way i learned to stand up for them. Thank you for turning me into you, else i wouldn’t be writing you these words.
I don’t fear anymore, I’m not afraid I’m gonna piss you off, I’m not afraid I’m gonna hurt you, I’m not expecting a too late “I love you”, I’m just hoping for another face palm.
I promised myself i will never let a man who made me cry hang around in my life and you made me shed enough tears, so good bye my dearest friend, you’ve lost me, congratz!